tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23666150009415390612024-03-13T13:54:45.362-07:00For the Hearts of a GenerationGerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-40757694620302651542023-05-17T09:12:00.005-07:002023-05-17T13:13:46.305-07:00Gerard McKeown - Published WritingMy website can be found at <a href="http://www.gerardmckeown.co.uk">www.gerardmckeown.co.uk</a>. <div><br /></div><div>Links to other work can be found below:
<a href="https://thelondonmagazine.org/fiction-never-wases-anonymous-by-gerard-mckeown/">Never Wases Anonymous - The London Magazine</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Best-Horror-Year-Fourteen/dp/194910267X">The Quizmasters - The Best Horror of the Year, Volume Fourteen (edited by Ellen Datlow)</a></div><div><a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0012fwy">Every Ballymena Man's Dream - BBC Radio 4 (produced by Michael Shannon,</a> <a href="https://www.spotlight.com/9170-0162-5611">read by Seamus O'Hara</a>)</div><div><a href="https://www.gerardmckeown.co.uk/gerard-mckeown-short-stories/a-history-of-fire/">A History of Fire - Willesden Herald New Short Stories 10</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.gerardmckeown.co.uk/gerard-mckeown-short-stories/the-shared-bedroom/">The Shared Bedroom - Number Eleven</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.noalibispress.com/title/still-worlds-turning">Detachment</a> - <a href="https://www.irishnews.com/arts/2019/07/03/news/book-reviews-no-alibis-still-worlds-turning-stories-sure-to-dirty-up-your-head-1654347/">Still Worlds Turning (edited by Emma Warnock) No Alibis Press</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ray9jRnTQsY&feature=youtu.be">The Blue Hour</a> – <a href="https://www.litromagazine.com/uncategorised/the-blue-hour/">Litro</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.themilkhouse.org/the-company-of-moths-by-gerard-mckeown/">The Company of Moths - The Milkhouse</a></div><div><a href="http://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/donal-ryan-blown-away-by-winner-of-this-year-s-3-000-moth-short-story-prize-1.2344602">Dunvale</a> – <a href="http://www.themothmagazine.com/a1-page.asp?ID=7773&page=8">The Moth</a></div><div>
<a href="http://humag.co/prose/cullybackey-train-station">Cullybackey Train Station – The Honest Ulsterman</a></div><div>
<a href="http://www.mironline.org/sister-sarya-at-the-end-of-the-world-by-gerard-mckeown/">Sister Sarya at The End of The World – The Mechanics’ Institute Review</a></div><div>
<a href="https://blackstaffpress.com/the-black-dreams-9781780733289">The Quizmasters - The Black Dreams (edited by Reggie Chamberlain-King) Blackstaff Press</a></div><div>
<a href="https://sidekickbooks.com/booklab/product/hipflask-series-set-of-four/">Roll Again - Hipflask</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.openpen.co.uk/unitedivided-almost-strangers/">Almost Strangers - Open Pen</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.litromagazine.com/litro-magazine-is-one-of-the-best-places-to-publish-fiction/the-last-meal-of-the-condemned/">The Last Meal of the Condemned – Litro</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.headstuff.org/culture/other-peoples-phone-calls/">Other People's Phone Calls - Headstuff</a></div><div>
<a href="https://fictivedream.com/2019/11/17/the-drowning/">The Drowning - Fictive Dream</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYLdDVRZt74">Drowning A Mermaid</a> - <a href="http://splonk.ie/index.php/2019/05/01/drowning-a-mermaid-gerard-mckeown/">Splonk</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.everythingwithwords.com/book/same-same-but-different/">Silent Misery - Same Same But Different (edited by Mikka Haugaard) Everything With Words</a> </div><div><a href="http://humag.co/prose/stroked-on-dope">Stroked on Dope - The Honest Ulsterman</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Willesden-Herald-New-Short-Stories/dp/0999527762/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=willesden+herald+new+short+stories+11&qid=1575217348&sprefix=willesden+&sr=8-3">Rabbit Season - Willesden Herald New Short Stories 11</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DfTvzYoifs&feature=youtu.be">The Poetry of Jenny</a> <a href="https://www.liarsleague.com/liars_league/2019/04/the-poetry-of-jenny-by-gerard-mckeown.html"> - Liars League</a> (<a href="https://www.spotlight.com/3416-7836-0442">performed by Zach Harrison</a>)</div><div><a href="https://www.jellyfishreview.wordpress.com/2019/01/11/how-do-you-make-lady-gaga-cry-by-gerard-mckeown/">How Do You Make Lady Gaga Cry? – Jellyfish Review</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.litromagazine.com/tuesdaytales/the-stink-and-the-shame/">The Stink and The Shame – Litro</a></div><div>
<a href="http://www.3ammagazine.com/3am/burrito-kate/">Burrito and Kate – 3:AM Magazine</a></div><div>
<a href="https://spelkfiction.com/2018/09/05/the-burnt-moth/">The Burnt Moth - Spelk</a></div><div>
<a href="http://humag.co/prose/browsing-through-cds-at-the-supermarket">Browsing Through CDs at the Supermarket - The Honest Ulsterman</a></div><div>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sKqzDo3t8A&feature">The Company of Moths - Open Pen</a></div><div>
<a href="https://youtu.be/P_qxzGveGRY">Second Skin</a> - <a href="https://thedrabble.wordpress.com/2018/05/08/second-skin/">The Drabble</a></div><div>
<a href="https://thebohemyth.com/2018/01/16/hollow-earth-theory-by-gerard-mckeown/">Hollow Earth Theory - The Bohemyth</a></div><div>
<a href="https://fictivedream.com/2017/11/19/the-dancers-at-blackpool-tower/">The Dancers at Blackpool Tower - Fictive Dream</a></div><div>
<a href="https://visualverse.org/submissions/blue-smoke/">Blue Smoke - Visual Verse</a></div><div><a href="https://www.litromagazine.com/tuesdaytales/kidsgrove/">Kidsgrove – Litro</a></div><div>
<a href="https://thedrabble.wordpress.com/2018/01/11/on-the-beach/">On The Beach - The Drabble</a></div><div>
<a href="http://humag.co/prose/the-comedian">The Comedian – The Honest Ulsterman</a></div><div>
<a href="http://visualverse.org/submissions/a-mouthful-of-wasps/">A Mouthful of Wasps – VisualVerse</a></div><div>
<a href="http://www.neonmagazine.co.uk/?p=5115">After The Parade – Neon</a></div><div>
<a href="http://humag.co/prose/mice-monkeys-cats-cows-and-frogs">Mice, Monkeys, Cats, Cows, and Frogs – The Honest Ulsterman</a></div><div>
<a href="http://theincubatorjournal.com/journal/">Good King Bumfluff – The Incubator</a></div><div>
<a href="http://visualverse.org/submissions/a-visitor/">A Visitor – VisualVerse</a></div>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-87364311590780287852022-01-17T05:36:00.003-08:002022-01-17T05:36:48.087-08:00BBC Radio 4 - Every Ballymena Man's DreamA story of mine was produced for Radio 4 recently. Have a listen here. <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0012fwy">Every Ballymena Man's Dream</a>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-62100851790943283062013-03-16T11:40:00.002-07:002013-03-16T11:41:54.412-07:00Burrito and KateI have a story Burrito and Kate published in 3:am magazine, and I'm chuffed to bits. Have a read here: <a href="http://www.3ammagazine.com/3am/burrito-kate">http://www.3ammagazine.com/3am/burrito-kate/</a>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-27825364994152126622011-10-16T11:11:00.001-07:002011-10-18T01:16:37.178-07:00New WebsiteI've a new website showcasing my writing and teaching. You can find it here: <a href="http://www.gerardmckeown.co.uk">http://www.gerardmckeown.co.uk</a>.<br /><br />Also check <a href="http://www.duderay.blogspot.com">here</a> for what I still think is the funniest blog on the internet.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-82606167496293145112011-04-07T12:39:00.000-07:002011-04-07T13:00:42.227-07:00Northern Irish Assembly Elections 2011It's less than a month away! Who will you be voting for? Any of this lot?<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UtxG8YXiQ34" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />Sammy Wilson?<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Wo4JaUJGKPk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />Nelson McCausland?<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tLt_GKHDnn4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />Or Peter Robinson?GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-39029809124071343352011-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:002011-03-23T12:21:46.090-07:00Unemployment in Northern IrelandI'm here to bring a message of despair. Let's all scream before we become like this:<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qeJtEFv9t1Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />That fucker George Osbourne wants us all like this. Tell him to get fucked.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-35121176419881175262010-11-14T05:24:00.001-08:002010-11-14T05:26:51.566-08:00The Donkey PunchI'm back again, within the space of a week. Don't get your hopes up, unless something else happens I want to comment about. I put a video up on youtube this week for my poem The Donkey Punch. I think the visuals compliment it rather than explain it. I always saw it as a companion piece to another poem of mine Farmer (see elsewhere in blog for this).<br /><br />Hope you enjoy it.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cof90KUL2VE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cof90KUL2VE?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-17460701683669819932010-11-10T17:14:00.000-08:002013-03-16T11:43:55.725-07:00WordlegsI know I've pretty much abandoned this blog but I'm stopping by briefly to tell you to check out the latest issue of Wordlegs, because I have a story in it. <a href="http://wordlegs.com/magazine/viewitem.php?id=43">Check it out here</a>.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-65166662824486512332010-06-16T13:09:00.000-07:002010-06-16T13:21:50.316-07:002nd Person NarrativeAs some of you may know I'm currently doing an MA in creative writing. One of my ambitions when starting it was to put a few more colours in my palate (this is a metaphor, I can't paint. Crayons are more my style). I was hoaking through some hands outs recently when I came across so pages from Jay McInerney's novel. <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bright-Lights-Big-City-DVD/dp/B0000A08IM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1276719150&sr=8-2">Bright Lights Big City</a>. Now if you follow that link it'll take you to the DVD but you being smart can find the book from there. You will also notice that you're now reading second person narrative. Yeow! The book is famous for being written in second person narrative. In my experience as a writer I've only ever used first and third. And even when I've taught creative writing I've only ever covered first and third. I've now loaned the book out of my local library. Yay me and yay the library for having it. It has a much less embarrassing cover than the DVD so I can take it out when I'm out for a coffee and be an interesting bookworm and not look like I'm reading a Dawson's Creek - The College Years style page turner.<br /><br />I hope that reading the book might make me want to try my own second person narrative, we'll see. I hope it does. I wonder have any of my readers read or written second person narrative. The only fiction I've came across before in second person is the find your own adventure books I used to read as a kid. The second person worked because of how they involved you in the plot. You made choices for the characters and thus shaped the plot. I'm wondering how this will affect my reading of Bright Lights Big City, I'll soon find out.<br /><br />BTW - Please don't put any spoilers in the comments section if you have read it. This is what dickheads do.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-11195694461041792292010-05-31T05:43:00.000-07:002010-05-31T05:56:35.545-07:00Human Beings Are Fragile ThingsHaving been a drama student I've been in some student films, most of which I'd not like to see, and I'd like it even less if other people saw them. There are exceptions to this and the following video is the best example of that.<br /><br />The guys who made it did a really good job on it and when it was screened at a local club (the Brickyard in Carlisle) I have to say I felt cool as fuck.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1L-2_edzx2w&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1L-2_edzx2w&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Any of you who've seen the blood face photograph I use on social networking sites now know where it comes from.<br /><br />Wonder what the guys who made it are doing now. If you are still making films give me a shout, I'm skint and come v.cheap these days.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-48942597177403079342010-05-12T08:30:00.001-07:002010-05-12T08:49:51.667-07:00I Predicted The Election ResultSo David Cameron is now prime minister and everyone is a bit pissed off that the Lib Dems basically have abandoned their policies for some cushy jobs and the pleasure of being <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m60XKqEEnfg">Cameron's</a> Bitches (no not in that funky rapper way).<br /><br />I'm not a political blogger so I'm not going to go into the finer points on anything. I know Gordon Brown ballsed a few things up but I think a lot of his unpopularity came from the fact that he's getting on a bit (New Labour is no longer young hip and sexy) and that he's a Scot (this is an admission that I recognise the prejudices of the national media - I personally think the Scots are <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiJdxxNC_Dg">cool</a>).<br /><br />I think it was a bit nasty how he went but when it comes to politics all ideas of fairness should be left at the door.<br /><br />Anyways I knew this was going to happen and I could have spared brown the time and effort involved in a lengthy campaign. You see last year I made this video all about the what would build up to the end of the world.<br /><br />I can't say how they're all linked because that's not how being psychic works. Instead today a little piece of the puzzle clicked into place and if you watch the sequence of faces that starts at 0:51 it'll make a bit of sense to you too. If you can figure it out I'm sure it can all be stopped. Save yourselves! And others!<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uIFSr5I6OlA&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uIFSr5I6OlA&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-22814937895975604162010-04-21T04:09:00.000-07:002010-04-21T04:11:00.741-07:00Dear John - ReviewCrapGerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-18145096242122536752010-03-01T04:52:00.000-08:002010-03-01T12:30:23.628-08:00Smallville - Dawson's Creek for Comic Book GeeksSmallville has long been an excuse for the lonely teenage geek to indulge in slushy awkward romance fantasies while avoiding the ridicule that an admission of watching Gossip Girl or The OC would bring them.<br /><br />You see regardless of the Lana Lang/Clark Kent/Lex Luthor/Louis Lane love rectangle that the teenager so eagerly watches sometimes adding Chloe (?) to it for the sake of making a magic pentagram to cast on the people that mock them for watching it, the teenager can always argue that they watch Smallville because it's about Superman and therefore it's comic book based and somehow not fair to slag it off.<br /><br />If you look properly at it though Smallville tries to cash in on all the cheesy romance crap it can, from Clark's switching between good Clark and bad Clark to the cheeseball lines lex says. One memorable occasion was Lex quoting John Donne to Lana to show her that Clark couldn't have written her some slushy poem because "Clark doesn't understand that poetry is all about seduction"<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Fuck sake Lex</span>, you're supposed to be a fucking <span style="font-style:italic;">baddie</span>.<br /><br />The biggest proof that comic book fans watch Smallville for it's slushy sentimentality is all the Lex and Clark friends that grow into deadly enemies hints that are thrown out all over the place to allow sappy geeks to shout "A-<span style="font-style:italic;">ha</span>!" everytime they hear one.<br /><br />Here's one, the worst one, and please try to remember that Lex is supposed to be a baddie and not some character thrown in at the last minute because he was too bald for a Mills and Boon novel:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5HPvKrvNOlM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5HPvKrvNOlM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I mean if someone you knew said this to you, even if they were pished out of their face and you'd just done them the biggest favour of their lives, you probably wouldn't speak to them again, just incase they said it in front of someone that knew you.<br /><br />Maybe it was moments like this that made Clark and Lex enemies in the end, not because Lex turned to crime but because Clark grew fed up with his ballbag, cheeseball lines.<br /><br />Smallville fans would see this coming but since most comic book geeks have no friends, they have no basis for comparison and rely on me to provide them with the knowledge.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-85161528934670952412010-01-08T15:26:00.000-08:002010-01-08T15:37:15.709-08:00The Adventures of Boring Tom - Part 5One day Boring Tom called the cops on his illegally parked neighbour.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/S0e_hP8wBtI/AAAAAAAAASU/PULMmL4dYkA/s1600-h/Boring_Tom_Car_Clamp_by_Gerard_by_thabudgie812.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/S0e_hP8wBtI/AAAAAAAAASU/PULMmL4dYkA/s320/Boring_Tom_Car_Clamp_by_Gerard_by_thabudgie812.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424514854128977618" /></a><br />The cops came and clamped the car.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/S0e_hIQPZtI/AAAAAAAAASc/JQscel3nBV4/s1600-h/Boring_Tom_Car_Clamp_by_Gerard_by_thabudgie813.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 312px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/S0e_hIQPZtI/AAAAAAAAASc/JQscel3nBV4/s320/Boring_Tom_Car_Clamp_by_Gerard_by_thabudgie813.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5424514852063241938" /></a><br />Later that night someone broke Boring Tom's windows, and he didn't know why.<br /><br />Boring Tom Stories by Gerard McKeown and <a href="http://www.about-things.co.uk/"> Ryan O'Neill</a>.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-11384122000278289412009-12-15T13:09:00.000-08:002010-03-29T09:28:13.608-07:00FarmerMy birthday was last week and my lovely girlfriend took me for the weekend to a lovely wee cottage in the Sperrin Mountains.<br /><br />The Sperrins isn't a place I know too well so while there aside from all the partying and setting trends that we do we went for a cool walk. I had my video camera with me and <a href="http://kristiinakriisa.edicypages.com">Kristiina</a> decided to shoot some footage for a video I wanted to make of my poem <a href="http://www.poetrymagazines.org.uk/magazine/record.asp?id=16585">Farmer</a>.<br /><br />Farmer is (in my opinion) one of my best poems. It's different from the sort of stuff I'm known for but I wrote it when I was <a href="http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/cranberries/21_20033962.html">21</a> and living in Carlisle, long before I'd ever heard of performance poetry or page poetry (nonesense terms used for sneering and boxing people in). It was also one of the first poems I had published (Fire no.26) and for that reason I'll always be very fond of it.<br /><br />Here's the video:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SxRGs-Bjv1E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SxRGs-Bjv1E&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-44368699940359321682009-12-10T10:03:00.000-08:002009-12-10T11:00:16.891-08:00Boy Meets My Foot (in his hole).I remember watching Boy Meets World as a teenager. It was a show that was alright to watch when your mum was eager to see the news. It mostly revolved around Fred Savage's less iconic wee brother trying to get buzy with the yummy <a href="http://www.dvdsnapshot.com/DanielleFishelFootball.jpg">Topanga</a> (hubba hubba). It was vaguely enjoyable after a day learning things at school, you could easily just sit and zone out while it went about all quirky and cool and failing miserably. It was tolerable, and maybe even a slight guilty pleasure. What it wasn't, was a show that educated and helped me deal with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylJ7eNrvrug">issues</a>.<br /><br />That's why out of all the episodes of the show the one that sticks in my mind is the one below:<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XIXIvQd_0d0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XIXIvQd_0d0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />What happens is that Sean (Corey's dickhead mate) and Corey get drunk at a party. Corey stops because they puked and stuff, Sean however is now reckless and out of control. He shows up pished out of his face to school. No one smells it off him (because it's television). He insults beloved teacher Mr Feeney (Kit from <h ref="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u69QZXHwuI">Night Rider) who is imparting knowledge, gets told to get out to fuck.<br /><br />Corey takes him home where they argue. Sean's 2D brother shows up and they fight about how their dad was a drunk (a-ha! Now we're getting to the root of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylJ7eNrvrug">issue</a>!) Sean's girlfriend shows up with Toganga (oo la la) and Sean's girlfriend tries to be understanding but Sean violently assaults her (oh! He's a violent drunk!) This is made much worse by the fact that she's the show's token black character so he comes off as a bit of a racist too. His girlfriend handles her abuse with grace and tells him she'll be back with some of her mates and a lead pipe. Sean sees that his nasty drunken ways are going to get him the kicking of his life and so he quickly gets dried out and apologises to everyone. Including Mr Feeney who as the pedagogue figure should have done a little more than the fuck all he did (he's probably tired after seeing how saving Hasselhoff's arse week after week led to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf8CVDA21Xo">fuck all</a>).<br /><br />Anyways his girlfriend's mates still fuck him up but then they get back together (although he's more subdued).<br /><br />The problem with this episode is that it tried to be all advisory for its audience, and most of its audience didn't want it's advice. It also gave it in such a cackhanded way that reduced the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylJ7eNrvrug">issues</a> to nothing more than something you take the piss out of with your mates. I'd like to hear the statistics on how many people who watched that show realised they had an alcohol problem like Sean. I'd guess not one. Epic Fail. Boy Meets World? What a fucking waste of my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TRIXN4ZzbA">teenage life</a>? I should have skived off school and went to the arcades to play tuppeny nudgers and had fights at the bus station instead of running home to see it.</h>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-53332973993713706182009-10-24T15:00:00.000-07:002009-10-26T08:20:17.306-07:00The Adventures of Boring Tom - Part 4One day Boring Tom found a penny on the ground<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/SuW-HD2o9jI/AAAAAAAAAR0/fmTyFJGMIqs/s1600-h/boring_Tom_money1.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 306px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/SuW-HD2o9jI/AAAAAAAAAR0/fmTyFJGMIqs/s320/boring_Tom_money1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5396928756976252466" /></a><br />"Hey! I've just found a penny!" he shouted, as he picked it up.<br />"So what?" said some passers by. "You can't buy anything for a penny."<br />"I collect pennies and keep them in a jar at home," said Boring Tom.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/SuW-G6RVL1I/AAAAAAAAARs/u21M1KETVPg/s1600-h/boring_Tom_money2.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/SuW-G6RVL1I/AAAAAAAAARs/u21M1KETVPg/s320/boring_Tom_money2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5396928754403848018" /></a><br />The kids walked away laughing.<br />"We'll see who's laughing when I've saved up a pound!" said Boring Tom happily to himself.<br /><br />Words by Gerard McKeown Art by <a href="http://www.about-things.co.uk">Ryan O'Neill</a>.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-65410946694986866182009-09-28T16:22:00.000-07:002009-09-28T16:58:15.145-07:00One Tree Hill and Music I LikeThe other night I was trying to find the song Here Comes A Regular by The Replacements on youtube so I could show it to my girlfriend. As per usual on youtube I came face to face with craply recorded live versions and assholes (you are fucking assholes) in their bedroom doing shit covers (This is an emotional song and involved a lot of people giving birth/struggling with constipation/emotionally battered but resiliant).<br /><br />I eventually found the song as it had been used in the TV Show One Tree Hill. One Tree Hill started around the same time as The OC and was temporarily overshadowed by its cool Seth Cohen witicisms and my ex-<a href="http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=180168605&albumID=277001&imageID=3797901">Rachel Bilson</a>. But as The OC lost it's way and turned pish One Tree Hill kept chugging along like the little engine who could and burned brightly like a mighty log on the fire of television while The OC exploded wildly like a hallowe'en firework that shot up into the air in a beautiful display before crashing back to earth in the next door neighbours garden and setting their shed on fire (it got cancelled after a few seasons).<br /><br />Anyways I've never really followed One Tree Hill. I know most of the main characters names and roughly what sort of people they are (at least within the context of the show, I don't know what they're like when they're off doing other stuff). I vaguely followed it when the guy shot his brother because he had gotten the first brother's high school sweetheart pregnant and tried to pretend it was a highschool kid on the rampage what did it but then he was found out by his sons (his illegitimate one and official one) and they made sure he rotted in jail for being a no good piece of slime. That aside I really don't have much of a clue about it.<br /><br />I didn't know what to expect when I decided to risk showing this snippet to my girlfriend. I asked my girlfriend to listen to the song rather than watch the moving pictures (some bird in the show dying). I might have exposed myself to a massive ass whoopin (in a metaphorical sense) if it had not been that we were both surprised that after finding Ellie (who?) dead the American girl (Payton, Cocoa Butter or some other essential oil of a name) starts waffling on in French. (She must have liked her and now be traumatised). Though if you are traumatised what better song to listen to than Here Comes A Regular by The Replacements. Enjoy! (The song, not one tree hill).<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CSpbApJjlhI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CSpbApJjlhI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-31075843519267246812009-09-09T16:42:00.000-07:002009-09-09T16:49:37.771-07:00The Adventures of Boring Tom - Part ThreeOne day Boring Tom was at the bus stop.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/Sqg9gCPbwzI/AAAAAAAAANc/ke4uNp5IfMo/s1600-h/Boring_Tom_at_the_bus_stop_1.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 259px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/Sqg9gCPbwzI/AAAAAAAAANc/ke4uNp5IfMo/s320/Boring_Tom_at_the_bus_stop_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379617375460770610" /></a><br />"Does this bus go to Lurgan?" Boring Tom asked.<br />"No," said the person at the bus stop.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/Sqg9fg0uQ6I/AAAAAAAAANU/NEERvv_vuDw/s1600-h/Boring_Tom_at_the_bus_stop2.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/Sqg9fg0uQ6I/AAAAAAAAANU/NEERvv_vuDw/s320/Boring_Tom_at_the_bus_stop2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379617366490366882" /></a><br />"Good," said Boring Tom. "I don't want to go to Lurgan. Too many "wild boys" there".<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/Sqg9fdtuRRI/AAAAAAAAANM/RiKOkozQcco/s1600-h/Boring_Tom_at_the_bus_stop3.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 283px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/Sqg9fdtuRRI/AAAAAAAAANM/RiKOkozQcco/s320/Boring_Tom_at_the_bus_stop3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379617365655700754" /></a><br />Using his fingers hadn't produced the reaction he'd hoped for, but he wouldn't give up hope. Someday someone would get it.<br /><br />Boring Tom by Gerard McKeown (words) and <a href="http://therisingcomic.blogspot.com/">Ryan O'Neill</a> (art)GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-60794059899677424282009-09-06T15:12:00.000-07:002009-09-06T15:34:32.295-07:00Helping out a Tranny TrampMe and my sweet honey pie today went with some wee bits and pieces she wanted rid of to a charity shop. Only problem was every one we went to was closed. Not letting that beat us me and my little honey pie went and left the stuff in a wee sheltered bit outside one (not saying which <a href="http://www.myspace.com/lovepoetryhateracism">cause</a> we support).<br /><br />We were very pleased with ourselves and gave each other a hi-<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdoVWX3JPeI">5</a> At this point a tramp came along and asked if he too could give us a hi-<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GjTvV3bAt8"> 5 </a> How could we refuse that miserable old tramp? We hung <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_(Pearl_Jam_album)"> ten</a> with the funky tramp. Then we fucked off to do other cool stuff.<br /><br />When we came back we found that a suitcase full of clothes had been taken but another box was left. We thought it must have been the tramp. It was a nifty suitcase and would have made him look like a classy lad. Of course there were ladies clothes in it so maybe the randy old dude was a tranny as well as a tramp. That's cool we thought. When I used to work in charity shops trannies came in all the time (I've never worked in a charity shop but it's a vaguely amusing [if homophobic] story that makes me sound like I give a shit about muthafuckas).<br /><br />Anyways we thought also he might have a lady tramp and the clothes will come in handy for presents on special occasions. This was sweet we thought. Our biggest fear was that some chump might have spotted the suitcase and thought it was a bomb (as can happen in this part of the world), and if that was the case we'd have to run from the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BokcrbL3-rw">cops</a>.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-58562187549123355262009-09-03T19:38:00.000-07:002009-09-03T19:50:31.251-07:00MY KICK ASS NEW DIRECTIONI'M A POET OF SOME RENOWN AND I'VE DECIDED IT'S TIME FOR ME TO CHANGE DIRECTION. FOR A LONG TIME I BEEN DOIN DAT COMEDY STUFF AND IT'S BEEN ROCKIN (LIKE THE TIME I WAS STANDING ON A TABLE WITH MY HANDS ON THE CEILING ROCKIN DAT TABLE FROM SIDE TO SIDE AS I SPAT FLY RHYMES). BUT NOW I'VE GOT TO TAKE THINGS TO A HIGHER LEVEL. TEACHING THE YOUNGER GENERATION ABOUT STUFF DEY SHOULD KNOW. I'M LEADING THE WAY. HOLD OUT YOUR TORCHES. I'M SETTIN DEM MUTHAFUCKAS ON FIRE. DIS IS MY NEW RHYME IT'S CALLED DERRY MUTHAFUCKA. AND IF PEEPS BE TALKIN TRASH (BALLS) I BE FUCKIN DEM UP. I FUCK DER ASSHOLES OUT DA FUCKIN WINDOWS ANY DAY OF DA FUCKIN WEEK<br /><br />DERRY MUTHAFUCKA<br /><br />DERRY MUTHAFUCKA!! <br />I'M COMIN FOR YA CROWN MUTHAFUCKA!! <br />I BE SPITTIN RHYMES OF INTELLIGENCE!! <br />TALKIN ABOUT BRINGING THINGS TO ANOTHER LEVEL!! <br />ENGAGE WITH ME MUTHAFUCKAS!! <br />ENGAGE!! <br />I BE SHOWIN THA WAY PEOPLE BE DOIN THANGS <br />AND I BE SAYING BULLSHIT MUTHAFUCKAS <br />FIND YO SELF!! <br />DON'T BE ME!! <br />I'M ME!! <br />DELETE THIS IF YOU WANT I BE JUST TELLING PEOPLE <br />HOW TO BE WHO THEY WANT TO BE <br />AND NOT WHO THEY THINK THEY WANT TO BE!! <br />I SHOWS PEOPLE HOW TO BE INTELLEGENT [sic]<br />AND HOW TO SPIT RHYMES AND TELL COPS <br />TO LIKE YO GET YO FUCKIN' HAND OFF ME MUTHAFUCKA!! <br />I SPLIT YO SKULL WITH A BIG ROCK!! <br />DERRY MUTHAFUCKA!!<br />I OWN YOU NOW!!GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-35594240914385983072009-09-02T14:11:00.000-07:002009-09-02T14:47:30.867-07:00136 Dunluce Avenue - An appraisalLast week I read in a magazine that after a break up it's good to emote. And that a study (I understand this "study" could be balls like a lot of things used to qualify an arguement) showed people who talked about break ups and why faired better in the long run both in terms of emotional and physical health.<br /><br />Don't worry, me and my sweet honey pie are going strong but I've just moved into my new house and I'm now about to give an appraisal of the people who I shared living quarters with in Dunluce Avenue and why a house that I felt happy to move into turned into a house I was happy to leave.<br /><br />This is a list of the people I lived with in a rough order of who was there when I moved in and who moved in after someone left, though I'm not saying who left and when or why.<br /><br />Conor - Conor was a decent guy. It was him that I met when I was viewing the house. He seemed like a fun enough guy that liked things to run smoothly. This proved a fair enough character sketch. Conor was a dead on sort but he'd tell you if he'd a problem about something in a fair and reasonable way (he didn't slag people off behind their back).<br /><br />Gary - Gary was happy enough as long as he could do his thing. He didn't hassle people and he liked to get pissed once in a while. Though he couldn't be relied upon to pay his internet on time or if there was tension in the house. He seemed to go with the crowd which I don't fault him for. He just wanted a place to live and keep out of the politics.<br /><br />Jerome - Jerome pretty much kept himself to himself and I never really got to know him.<br /><br />Claudia - Claudia and me could clash about things and at times I went from not liking her at all to thinking she was good fun. She was someone you could have an interesting chat with if you were both in the kitchen or the living room at the same time.<br /><br />Lorna - I never hit it off with Lorna, we got on okay here and there but again like Gary she went with the crowd and didn't really consider the whole picture. Very bad at buying gas when it was her turn or washing her dishes.<br /><br />Julie - Moved in after someone moved out. We got on well even though we were two different sort of people.<br /><br />Dawn - Alright but I never got to know her.<br /><br />Rodney - Very bad at paying bills and not the best conversationalist. Wouldn't have been much trouble if he hadn't been made a target by other housemates. Let's be honest - a spide (townie if you're english, ned if you're a scot).<br /><br />Gemma - Two faced. Liked to be nice to people's faces and phone the landlord behind their back. Thought a whitebored [sic] was cool and a bit "friends".<br /><br />Tom - A bore. No visable friends and someone who very much liked to whine and stir trouble. Turned small managable problems into big ones that needed talked about (perhaps he had nothing else to talk about). You know at the end of Glengarry Glenross when Pacino just inserts the word Asshole into the conversation he's having with Kevin Spacey? People have done this all Tom's life to Tom, and though Tom has understood that they were right to do so, it has still made him very bitter.<br /><br />Gosia - Didn't really get to know Gosia, alright to talk to though she didn't wrap food up when she put it in the fridge. So it went off and you had to throw it out for her.<br /><br />That's why I'm glad I've left Dunluce Avenue. Though here's a video I shot outside my bedroom door. The music is by <a href="http://www.myspace.com/communistdefectorswillbeshot">Communist Defectors Will Be Shot</a><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/f1as2rOrjpA&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/f1as2rOrjpA&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-88090561264550694482009-09-01T16:10:00.000-07:002009-09-01T17:02:59.954-07:00Mystery Men - A ReviewIt seems that my last post offended a few people. That's too bad. I won't say that they can lick my balls (because I don't allow them to) but they should spend a bit more time sorting themselves out that whinning at me.<br /><br />One thing they should do is check out the film <span style="font-style:italic;">Mystery Men</span>. <span style="font-style:italic;">Mystery Men</span> is a very much underrated wee movie that I picked to watch because I couldn't find anything better to watch in the video shop.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5a/Mystery_Men.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 247px; height: 350px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5a/Mystery_Men.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Firstly you'd think with it's cast (Ben Stiller, William H.Macy, Greg Kinnear, Tom Waits to name four) that if you hadn't heard of it then it must be shit. This is a fair assumption and the film wasn't successful at the box office. Mystery Men, however, is an exception to the rule.<br /><br />It's like a parody of the Watchmen (though it pre-dates it), with three superheroes with crap non-powers trying to unsuccessfully establish themselves on the superhero scene monopolised by Captain Amazing (Kinnear).<br /><br />Captain Amazing is so amazing that he has run out of decent bad guys to fight and as such is losing his product endorsements (he has product badges all over his superhero costume - Pepsi gets a particularly nice wee bit of exposure but I still think it tastes like someone dropped a bar of soap in a vat of Cola).<br /><br />This leads to him overseeing the release of his greatest foe Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffry Rush). Things don't go according to plan and Captain Amazing ends up Frankenstein's captive.<br /><br />This clears the way for our inept superheroes to save the day but even they realise need some extra help. The scene where they try out new members of the gang looks like a typical Saturday in a comic book geek's backyard. (Pencil Head and Son of Pencil head being two who sadly don't make the grade).<br /><br />Kel Mitchell deserves a mention as the superhero with the silliest power: Invisible Boy, who can only turn invisible when no one is looking at him, though he has strong competition from the rest of the cast.<br /><br />It builds up to a nice fun goodies vs baddies set piece that gives some big old chuckles and we don't mind the ending being predictable at all because hey it's a parody (but not in the shit lazy way that Hollywood has become all too accustomed to producing in recent years - Wayans brothers you have a lot to answer for).<br /><br />All in all this was a fun few hours spent having a few chuckles and I didn't feel deep once, thank fuck.GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-80308281138347323662009-08-26T09:05:00.000-07:002009-08-26T09:55:01.027-07:00Gumtree - Missed Connections, No ConnectionsOne of my late night pursuits is having a wee giggle to myself about the poor lonely folk that write up on <a href="http://belfast.gumtree.com/belfast/missed-connections_1569_1.html">Gumtree Missed Connections</a>. I always read the Belfast section, mostly because I'd like to see someone I know mentioned on there sometime but also because I'd maybe like to see some lonely sap looking for me. I would have a good giggle and show it to my girlfriend and we'd laugh and maybe send them a jokey email back telling them I wanted to meet them in a lonely part of town at night and have them lifted by the cops for stalking me.<br /><br />This is very cruel? Isn't it?<br /><br />No, it isn't.<br /><br />Here's why.<br /><br />You see most people on here are looking for these "stunning" people they see when they're limping all lonely about the city and they're too afraid to talk to them. You see if they went up and said something along the lines of "Hey baby you're so hot, sex me now. I like it wild!" then maybe they'd get a slap in the face, but maybe if they just struck up a conversation with them it might not be so bad. You see good-looking people don't spend their time on Gumtree hoping that someone is looking for them (except for me), they spend their time going out and meeting people. So you've little or no chance that they'll ever read your message, at most you've just gotten something off your chest.<br /><br />The other problem is this, putting up these gushing messages about how you just <em>have</em> to meet this person makes you sound like a bed wetter.<br /><br />With this in mind I've put my own sad wee post up (see if you can guess which one it is). And maybe if you're reading this in tears saying <a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/im-just-a-little-bit-shy-lyrics-natasha-thomas.html">"but I'm too shy to speak to people"</a>, then consider this; If you do speak to someone and make a dick out of yourself they probably won't remember it for too long but at least you'll have met them (which is more than you'll get posting on Missed Connections).<br /><br />Plus for cash I'll come along and tell them how <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuXuG4e8yYk">muther frickin' fly ass cool</a> you are (even if you're not!) and how at a party when I open a beer, I give one to you and whatever's left is for me (but let's not go overboard I have <a href="http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&safe=active&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=gerard+mckeown+is+the+coolest+dude&btnG=Search&meta=">my own cool</a> to keep).GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2366615000941539061.post-43918350989370718992009-08-22T17:38:00.001-07:002009-08-22T18:35:34.534-07:00You gotta have rain to have rainbows! (or Fairy Liquid)Friday I was stranded out in Ormeau Park. It had drizzled a wee bit and I thought my nice £2.50 Save the Children (I have a social conscience) umbrella was enough to withstand any onslaught the weather might throw at me.<br /><br />This was proved wrong the first time I opened it. Not by the weather but by the umbrella's eagerness to "BREAK THE MOULD" and fly off like a bad tribute to all the merry chimney sweeps in Dick the Dyke's Mary Poppins.<br /><br />Then it pissed down, out of pure schadenfreude, and I was left huddling under a tree thinking if that thing I heard at school about not huddling under trees in lightening storms was true (it is - just in case you think I'm a reliable source and I'm disputing it [we were all told a lot of <a href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060619092855AAmWT2s">lies</a> at school]) and thinking I should have got in that taxi that my girlfriend offered me a lift in.<br /><br />Then it stopped and I saw this (see below)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/SpCRS5-LR5I/AAAAAAAAALk/uifIz0RisG8/s1600-h/S7301089.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_aAPB_oKaTF0/SpCRS5-LR5I/AAAAAAAAALk/uifIz0RisG8/s320/S7301089.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372954109438281618" /></a><br /><br />And it reminded me that we see a lot of rain in Northern Ireland but not a lot of rainbows. And I immediately thought about a metaphor for the troubles but didn't write it down for lack of a pen.<br /><br />I'm sure it lives on in the hearts of the people, and in the wind that smashes into the side of cavehill and carries many a lowly scoutmaster sordid dreams (oo er!) but I forget it, (it was something to do with George W Bush being a total mutherfucker and like totally being a dick, dude I'm like into peace and stuff and if you're not then you can totally go hang with all the racists I'm going to defeat when they hear what I have to say about them the stoopid gang of asswipe mutherfuckers).<br /><br />Anyways. I remembered that you need a lot of rain to get rainbows but also that you had to have a dick, to have dick in your mouth, and off I walked back towards town hoping that there were still some skaters at custom house square to have a laugh at (only when they fell really badly - other than that they were <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdoVWX3JPeI">slam dunkin da funk</a>).<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hmeel4jpCQ0&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Hmeel4jpCQ0&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>GerardMcKeownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00984190199538764342noreply@blogger.com0