Links to other work can be found below:
Never Wases Anonymous - The London Magazine
Showing posts with label northern ireland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label northern ireland. Show all posts
Wednesday, 17 May 2023
Thursday, 7 April 2011
Northern Irish Assembly Elections 2011
It's less than a month away! Who will you be voting for? Any of this lot?
Sammy Wilson?
Nelson McCausland?
Or Peter Robinson?
Sammy Wilson?
Nelson McCausland?
Or Peter Robinson?
Saturday, 22 August 2009
You gotta have rain to have rainbows! (or Fairy Liquid)
Friday I was stranded out in Ormeau Park. It had drizzled a wee bit and I thought my nice £2.50 Save the Children (I have a social conscience) umbrella was enough to withstand any onslaught the weather might throw at me.
This was proved wrong the first time I opened it. Not by the weather but by the umbrella's eagerness to "BREAK THE MOULD" and fly off like a bad tribute to all the merry chimney sweeps in Dick the Dyke's Mary Poppins.
Then it pissed down, out of pure schadenfreude, and I was left huddling under a tree thinking if that thing I heard at school about not huddling under trees in lightening storms was true (it is - just in case you think I'm a reliable source and I'm disputing it [we were all told a lot of lies at school]) and thinking I should have got in that taxi that my girlfriend offered me a lift in.
Then it stopped and I saw this (see below)
And it reminded me that we see a lot of rain in Northern Ireland but not a lot of rainbows. And I immediately thought about a metaphor for the troubles but didn't write it down for lack of a pen.
I'm sure it lives on in the hearts of the people, and in the wind that smashes into the side of cavehill and carries many a lowly scoutmaster sordid dreams (oo er!) but I forget it, (it was something to do with George W Bush being a total mutherfucker and like totally being a dick, dude I'm like into peace and stuff and if you're not then you can totally go hang with all the racists I'm going to defeat when they hear what I have to say about them the stoopid gang of asswipe mutherfuckers).
Anyways. I remembered that you need a lot of rain to get rainbows but also that you had to have a dick, to have dick in your mouth, and off I walked back towards town hoping that there were still some skaters at custom house square to have a laugh at (only when they fell really badly - other than that they were slam dunkin da funk).
This was proved wrong the first time I opened it. Not by the weather but by the umbrella's eagerness to "BREAK THE MOULD" and fly off like a bad tribute to all the merry chimney sweeps in Dick the Dyke's Mary Poppins.
Then it pissed down, out of pure schadenfreude, and I was left huddling under a tree thinking if that thing I heard at school about not huddling under trees in lightening storms was true (it is - just in case you think I'm a reliable source and I'm disputing it [we were all told a lot of lies at school]) and thinking I should have got in that taxi that my girlfriend offered me a lift in.
Then it stopped and I saw this (see below)
And it reminded me that we see a lot of rain in Northern Ireland but not a lot of rainbows. And I immediately thought about a metaphor for the troubles but didn't write it down for lack of a pen.
I'm sure it lives on in the hearts of the people, and in the wind that smashes into the side of cavehill and carries many a lowly scoutmaster sordid dreams (oo er!) but I forget it, (it was something to do with George W Bush being a total mutherfucker and like totally being a dick, dude I'm like into peace and stuff and if you're not then you can totally go hang with all the racists I'm going to defeat when they hear what I have to say about them the stoopid gang of asswipe mutherfuckers).
Anyways. I remembered that you need a lot of rain to get rainbows but also that you had to have a dick, to have dick in your mouth, and off I walked back towards town hoping that there were still some skaters at custom house square to have a laugh at (only when they fell really badly - other than that they were slam dunkin da funk).
Saturday, 8 August 2009
The Great City of Ballymena
I've Been Stuck in Ballymena a lot recently because I'm technically homeless. It's been fine in a lot of ways, mostly because I get to see a lot of my folks and at the start of the years I was working nights and the only time I got to see any of them was when my dad went into hospital, and even then I was walking around like a zombie.
Anyways, I thought I'd use that as a great excuse to show you my tribute to my hometown The Great City of Ballymena. It was a video I made for a song I did with my electronica group Communist Defectors Will Be Shot. It's named after the time IPJ called it that on the news. He should know better because he's the MLA for here and Ballymena is a bloody town. Regardless of what it says on that fucking roundabout (WELCOME TO THE CITY OF THE SEVEN TOWERS). It actually doesn't have seven towers either (any more).
Anyway, here's the vid. When I made it I thought the links were tenuous at best, now I'm not so sure there are any at all. Watch it and let me know if you see any.
Anyways, I thought I'd use that as a great excuse to show you my tribute to my hometown The Great City of Ballymena. It was a video I made for a song I did with my electronica group Communist Defectors Will Be Shot. It's named after the time IPJ called it that on the news. He should know better because he's the MLA for here and Ballymena is a bloody town. Regardless of what it says on that fucking roundabout (WELCOME TO THE CITY OF THE SEVEN TOWERS). It actually doesn't have seven towers either (any more).
Anyway, here's the vid. When I made it I thought the links were tenuous at best, now I'm not so sure there are any at all. Watch it and let me know if you see any.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
