Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Gumtree - Missed Connections, No Connections

One of my late night pursuits is having a wee giggle to myself about the poor lonely folk that write up on Gumtree Missed Connections. I always read the Belfast section, mostly because I'd like to see someone I know mentioned on there sometime but also because I'd maybe like to see some lonely sap looking for me. I would have a good giggle and show it to my girlfriend and we'd laugh and maybe send them a jokey email back telling them I wanted to meet them in a lonely part of town at night and have them lifted by the cops for stalking me.

This is very cruel? Isn't it?

No, it isn't.

Here's why.

You see most people on here are looking for these "stunning" people they see when they're limping all lonely about the city and they're too afraid to talk to them. You see if they went up and said something along the lines of "Hey baby you're so hot, sex me now. I like it wild!" then maybe they'd get a slap in the face, but maybe if they just struck up a conversation with them it might not be so bad. You see good-looking people don't spend their time on Gumtree hoping that someone is looking for them (except for me), they spend their time going out and meeting people. So you've little or no chance that they'll ever read your message, at most you've just gotten something off your chest.

The other problem is this, putting up these gushing messages about how you just have to meet this person makes you sound like a bed wetter.

With this in mind I've put my own sad wee post up (see if you can guess which one it is). And maybe if you're reading this in tears saying "but I'm too shy to speak to people", then consider this; If you do speak to someone and make a dick out of yourself they probably won't remember it for too long but at least you'll have met them (which is more than you'll get posting on Missed Connections).

Plus for cash I'll come along and tell them how muther frickin' fly ass cool you are (even if you're not!) and how at a party when I open a beer, I give one to you and whatever's left is for me (but let's not go overboard I have my own cool to keep).


  1. Hahahahaha.... love it!!
    I do exactley what you do... i sit in work bored out of my brains and go onto gumtree for a laugh to see what these freaking weirdos are writing; "Oh i seen you at the bus stop on the Lisburn Road today. You were hot! Get in touch" OR "We passed each other at the City Hall. We shared a moment. You were wearing pink trousers". Like people pass hundreds n thousands of people everyday, you'd swear they were taking notes!

    My sis was actually v.amused with it when i shown her and she decided to post her ex bf's details to some guy who was after "friendship" - bollocks!

    Its sad and desparate... but hay, it sure keeps me amused!!

    Good post lol :D

  2. And yet, I found my birth mother by putting an ad on there.

    Go figure.

  3. Lornie - It's a fun way to pass the time. See if you can spot the other one I put there.

    The Raven - That's a fair point. It's fine to use it for that sort of thing but the sort of users I talked about in my entry are the most common on there.